We’ve all heard it before, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!” Can’t you just hear some loud, older woman saying that? I say CRAB FREAKING APPLES! Who made up such a ridiculous statement? Maybe it was Pollyanna or someone who likes to play pretend. I have found that the statement is pretty much impossible and if you try, you’ll eventually be drowned in your own sea of lemon flavored denial, that’s a river I don’t want to swim in.
Life, it is what it is. It’s a blessing, and it’s life. If you’ve had the opportunity to walk through most of it unscathed by personal pain here’s my advice, go out and buy a five point restraint. I quote the little Asian sidekick from the movie, Indiana Jones Temple of Doom, “Hang on Dr.Jones, we going for a ride!” It’s never going to be all fluff and stuff, and when things start to get good, pray harder. To put it simply, our household has been a mess . We have a teenager…and all that that implies.
My last post was about embracing the mustard seed. My teenager is going through LIFE right now, she’s riding it like a well versed white water rapids guide, except she is only prepared with a blow up raft from our garage and a make shift paddle. Many of her choices have been completely against our wishes, we’ve done the angry, sad, concerned parent thing. There’s been tears and laughter, mostly tears. I found a necklace that my Grandmother used to wear in her old jewelry box. It’s a small glass type bubble about the size of your pinky nail, and inside it is a tiny little mustard seed. I’ve been wearing it.
I’ve handled my daughters current situation in several different ways: grace, dignity, composure, hysterics, unbelief, hopelessness, anger, and prayer, to name a few. I have realized that living out your faith or embracing the mustard seed is much more difficult than I presumed. All my human mind and heart wants in order to conquer the situation is a little bit of tasty control, and HE pulled that right out of my hands. I’m ok with that…this morning. It’s been a long twenty-four hours. You would not have wanted to drive by and see me having a hysterical fit in the price chopper parking lot yesterday afternoon. I was like Lieutenant Dan in Forrest Gump, but I’m a suburban mom so the grocery store parking lot was a fitting place to make my peace with God. Instead of shrimping boat I used a grocery cart, what a great image. In reality it was just me and my mini-van but still, there was a battle fought. In that moment of undignified toddler style appeal for God to bring my daughter home I heard Him ask me something, Is she more important to your life than me?
I am growing. In this cold winter season my heart longs for His warmth and I am laying down my parenting battle tools at His feet. I am going to trust Him to take care of her. She’s growing her own wings and one day I want to watch her fly free. She needs our love and support because she’s in for a ride of her own. I’ll pray for her safety, for her future, and I’ll entrust her to Him.