I did what??

Yes, I did it, I decided to update an old friend and not try to start a new one from the ground up as I have so many times before.

The title seems pretty àpropos, as what I want to write about just happens to be…family.

We have decided to home school and even as I am writing this I am wondering what in tarnation I was thinking. I was adamant, careful, meticulous in fact, I did my research. I talked the talked, I was super pumped. I watched a documentary, I interviewed half a dozen other home school moms, I dreamed of sun filled days and chalkboard and yardsticks, nature walks and fresh cookies and milk. I heard the giggling of my children as I acted out scripts from famous plays and then we watched the Broadway musicals. I did everything but buy the matching denim dresses. I never once, considered that.

And here we are, three days in. This week has been epic, an epic comedy of errors. So many things went horribly wrong this week, and even as I sip my horse tranquilizer, ah hem, I mean red wine, I see that so much of it went right as well. Gods hands have been in this for many years, from the moment He put it in my heart thirteen years ago.

I wanted to home school my oldest, more than anything, I just couldn’t make it work. Most of that time I was a single mom, and then a working mom, it never came to fruition. But now, we’re making it work, my husband and I that is. I’ve dropped my hours at the hospital, picked a few up working from home, and rearranged things so that I could do something I feel called to do. I am laughing now as I wonder why. I have no idea why I feel called to this. I am probably the least qualified of any of the moms I know to do this. I am nowhere near perfect, I am definitely not Susie homemaker, I don’t lead women’s bible studies, I can’t recite the book of John, I don’t grind my own wheat…anymore. All the stereotypical things that come to mind about homeschoolers I am none of.

So what am I? Who am I?

I am just a mom, who felt like maybe I could squeeze in some more quality time with my kids, maybe teach them a little about what and why we believe what we believe. I am a little OCD, a lot ADD, mix in a little turrets, a splash of impulsivity, add a wild hair or two and top that off with some staunch conservative ideals and an honest to goodness love for all people, all ethnic groups, all political affiliations and you get…me. Just to scratch the surface.  

So here I am, there’s really no turning back now, today was the first day of school in our highly recognized school district. Yep, our sweet little elementary school is just a stones throw away and I watched the Facebook news feed with half a broken heart today. All the mammas and daddy’s sending their kids off to school, the adorable pictures of the happy children. I am not going to lie, a part of me wondered if we’re doing the right thing. I felt like maybe I was cheating my kids the joy of that first day outfit, or that brand new back pack or pair of shoes. Or the biggest thing homeschoolers cheat their kids out of…socialization, dun dun dun.

Take a deep breath Ro…it ain’t over till it’s over.

I have good math books, English books, phonics books, science books, history books, apologetics books, all the core curriculum. The kids are in a home school reading club, they’re going to take gymnastics, my son is in soccer, my mom will teach them art. They will start guitar lessons soon. Now, all I have to do is execute…love, live, and learn. Learn from the sun up to sun down, to live is to learn, the mind is a beautiful thing. And come to find out my kids seem to really love learning. They can’t get enough, ok well my son can, but he loves math, and that was his worst subject last year. But my daughter has such a zeal for learning. I think they love it so much because they are getting to spend more focused time with me than they ever have before. The other night my son stopped what he was doing and looked straight into my eyes and said, “You’re such a great mom.” I really needed to hear that after a crazy, haphazard home school day.

I’m not cut out for this.

I told a friend of my fears the other day and she replied, “You’ve done the natural, let God do the supernatural.” And I am clinging to those words tonight.

Holding my breath until mom decides I can quit this copywork business.

Holding my breath until mom decides I can quit this copywork business.

Below are a few pics of our Bookworms Book Club. There is also a great pic of my son enjoying math-u-see.


bookwormgirls bookworms math-u-see

Our first Apologia, animals of the 5th day, science experiment.

Our first Apologia, animals of the 5th day, science experiment.


About rolanda

Forty-something, married to a great guy with a stellar beard, we have 3 children, 2 granny babies and super cool son-in-law. I home school my kids because I love to be around them, I hope they turn out ok. I am a pediatric nurse and I live near the Kansas City area. I like vintage things. I love people, coffee and Jesus and I also love to write.
This entry was posted in Family, God stuff, homeschooling, life, motherhood, random and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I did what??

  1. Joey P says:

    you are amazing and i so admire the courage you have in not only being quiet long enough to listen to what you are called to do . . . but even braver yet, to do it . . .


  2. rolanda says:

    Awe thanks cuz. You’re pretty awesome yourself…:)



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