Skewsis

About fasting. We quit the Intermittent Fasting we were doing, it was hard to keep ourselves from eating ravenously in the evening, we’ve switched to Daniel’s Fast, you can read about that here. (Without emphasis) It’s a lovely, plant-based, smorgasbord of delights.  I actually recall my dad talking about taking us to a restaurant once and he, no lie, described it as a smorgasbord. I think that was the last time I heard it used in conversation, about 35 years ago. Let’s bring it back shall we? And yes, my dad has a moustache.

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I am completely and utterly lost right now. No social networking and no chips, also no wine. Geez, I’m a needy lady these days. I never realized how dependent I had become on seemingly insignificant details of my life. Oh, and let’s not discuss caffeine, or nicotine. Not kidding. I used to smoke, mostly in my teenage years and I meandered around the social smoking stage off an on in my 20-30’s, let’s just be honest, I love nicotine like I love chips and wine. I am laughing right now at my honesty. Look, I am not here to pussy-foot around these subjects, I am not fasting for the fun of it. I am a passionate person, I am passionate about my passions, and my passions passions. I love a good chip, my favorites are probably Fritos honey barbecue twists, Doritos, and Pringles, any flavor, Funyuns,  but I would pass all of those for some (with emphasis) Vodoo flavored Zapps! There’s that passion again, it’s directly proportionate to my arse. Also, I vape my nic these days, which may or may not be worse than good old-fashioned combustible tobacco. And I use a very low nic juice, ok now I am just making skewsis.

But why stop there, when you could drink wine, although everybody knows you either indulge in junk food or wine, wine is best served alone, maybe a little something after the wine has been consumed. But nicotine, nicotine and wine go perfectly together, symbiosis. And social networking just mixes right in there will all of them.

And coffee, well coffee is all. Nothing can be done that is worthwhile without coffee.

This. Is. My. Mantra. All of the above.

Maybe not the healthiest of mantras…I do some healthy stuff too. I work out. I will pick a 6 week period about three times a year and go full-bore, I mean high-caliber exercise, not able to walk for 6 weeks exercise. I am good momma, daughter, friend, and wife. I love to help people, I am also a nurse. I do some volunteer work and love to collect vintage things. I am not all vices, I am not all vices, I am not all vices. I am someone you want to be friends with, I have a big personality, I love myself. I say all these things to help counter the self-deprecating first few paragraphs, I have to build myself back up if I want to finish this post.

Why would anyone want to put this kind of personal information out there? I guess because I don’t have anything to lose, I have a strong network of family and friends, and I have a suspicion that other people have these same struggles, they may just care what people think, I however, do not. I mean not really, ok maybe a little but I have no shame.

What I do care about is peace. I want to live soooo free. I want to be unattached to anything that could entangle me, get in my way, keep me from running this race. That being said, I am trying this fast. I don’t think I have really lost any weight, but it’s more about re-learning who I am, cleansing my palate, and pushing my way up to the stage.

Have you ever been to a concert and had floor tickets, you know when you decide to go for it and rush the stage with hundreds of other fools? All this while the older, more sophisticated concert goer watches from seats whilst sipping some red and munching on Fritos. Well, that’s how I see this. I am grabbing at my youth again, knowing life is about being right up front. God is front and center and I want a good look at him, I want to see him up close, not just hear the music, that isn’t enough for me. I put down my fritos and wine, and here I am, crowd surfing my way to Jesus. heh.

This has been a lot of information, I will close now, push publish, before the regret sinks in. Godspeed fellow humans.

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About rolanda

Forty-something, married to a great guy with a stellar beard, we have 3 children, 2 granny babies and super cool son-in-law. I home school my kids because I love to be around them, I hope they turn out ok. I am a pediatric nurse and I live near the Kansas City area. I like vintage things. I love people, coffee and Jesus and I also love to write.
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