Mesmerizing Silence

Sitting in a local coffee shop fully self-actualizing. Free-time isn’t easy currency in my life these days but I am making time for it, hustling for it one blog post at a time. I’m sitting in the window seat at the front of the shop watching all the children walk to karate with their parents and wishing this place was open just a little longer. I could probably sit and hammer out randomness for hours, especially with the caliber of caffeine they’re serving up. in. here. Y’all gone make me lose my mind.

GAH! The barista just changed the music genre, it was all melancholy and perfect for deep thoughts and now he’s gearing up to go home, cleaning up the day, wiping away the grounds that made men go, dancing away the workday…so that means I am going to have to change the whole vibe of this blog post.

So here goes.

Ugh what is this music?  I swear it’s a cross between Jim Croche, elevator music and the Bahamas. Folks, it’s not good. I mean those things have their place, independent of one another they can be somewhat enjoyable, ok, save the elevator music, but a mash-up, no thank you friend. Your grandpa called from his vacation on a carnival cruise, he wants his records back.

Roasted. Like coffee.

Where’s the comedy in my blogs lately? I’ve neglected that side of myself, so solemn it seems.

What do you call a nosey pepper?

Jalapeño business.


Just like this music.

Update: This song is seriously a Christmas, 50’s, Lawrence Welk mash. Gah.

But the coffee is soooo good.

Grateful Dead. What a good name for a band right? I’m just realizing what a great name that is. I can think of a lot of neat meanings for the name, none of which they probably relate to. Isn’t neat a fun word?

This is going to be an obligatory mid-week thought lob.

Don’t even try to catch it.

Ok the good music is back but they close in 28 min so I don’t think there’s much I can pull off at this point.

I say I solemn, but in a lovely peaceful sort of way. I think I’ve arrived at a place where I am unbelievably grateful for life. It amazes me that the human race is so complex. It’s pretty amazing that God sprinkled us across the globe, red and yellow, black and white, he blew life into us and said, go, be, do, love. It’s awesome to think of him enjoying his creation. Do you think he has lots to be excited about? I envision it like binge watching Netflix, there’s shows we know are a cluster, but we watch them and hope for the best, there are love stories and dramas that fill us up, and a myriad of others. I think God watches our lives from the pristine view of the most amazing sofa you’ve ever sat on.

Now that’s just silly. 

It doesn’t feel cozy right now though does it? So much going on globally, nationally, personally. But I can’t shake the idea that we are the only ones, the only created men to enjoy this expansive universe. How insane is that? We have intelligent thoughts and feelings and we can look up into the heavens and declare that God doesn’t exist.

There’s no way that’s truth. I’ve tried to believe that before, I tried to find a place where God didn’t fit into my life, I could not locate it.

I am left in utter awe at his mesmerizing silence, I feel it thump in my chest and my thoughts and ideas are examples of him. We are made for relationship, we are made for him, we are his children. His silence is so mesmerizing because it awakens our soul with words unknown, it’s an impression at the end of the day that he was near, it’s the fullness of being he pours out when we ask, even in the messy.


Therefore as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12

We are made to love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:14

That’s a pretty awesome way to love.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Psalms 139:15

We are here by no accident and for as far as the eye and most sophisticated telescope can see we are the only place that can sustain life as we know it. Your thoughts are like tools in the hands of great builders, they are valuable and meaningful. You have love to give and the propensity to be loved. What a gift.

Well there’s five minutes to closing so I think I’ll scoot out of here. Have a great evening and sweet dreams.


About rolanda

Forty-something, married to a great guy with a stellar beard, we have 3 children, 2 granny babies and super cool son-in-law. I home school my kids because I love to be around them, I hope they turn out ok. I am a pediatric nurse and I live near the Kansas City area. I like vintage things. I love people, coffee and Jesus and I also love to write.
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